are you lily-livered?

a place we've road tripped to - pike street market, seattle

For all of you intrepid spring break travelers, road trippers toting children, stopping for more “I-need-to-go-pee” breaks than you can even remember, only to be followed by, “I’m thirsty,” I tip my hat to you, smirking to myself.  Are we there yet?

I’m not really laughing at you, well, I kinda am, but only because I’ve been in your shoes and car.  It’s packed with books, a pile of toys, the favorite of which will inevitably get left somewhere along the way, DVD’s that you swear if you ever have to watch again you might just claw your eyes out.  And what about the snacks that are now permanently ground into the seats and carpet.  You’ll be smelling beef jerky, Capri Suns and the spilled pintos and cheese for days, pleasant, huh?

In the spirit of levity and well-wishing and happy travels, I give you a little fish tale …

Hey, ho it’s a grand day for a sea cruise; sand at my fins, water in my face, a few ethereal bubbles floating above me.  Awe, life is good for us flatfishes… (Deep sigh.)

Where are my manners?  Let me introduce myself, Halibut Jack at your service.  Guided tours of the ocean floor and accompanying reef outcroppings.  No special equipment needed, if you have gills.  Who’s on board or really overboard, as the actual case may be?

A couple of precautions before we start skimming the bottom:  Beware of hooks, lines and sinkers!  Don’t fall prey to the old bait and switch trick.  Nibbling that morsel will likely land you splat in the frying pan!  And, unless you are a seal, there’s no need to worry about sharks.  Shark week is bad for seals, you know.

For your safety, as well as protecting this pristine environment, we’ll be touring in schooling formation, everyone swim in.  Our depth will average 175 feet.  The waters will be partly cloudy at the lower levels, however visibility will be fine when we are viewing the reef in the shallows.  If you feel a need to surface, do so quickly and then return to the group.  Let’s get skimming!

Some of the first things you will notice are the plants growing in the fine sandy bottom.  The white anemones look especially vibrant on these murky days, while the lilac and crimson varieties fade into the haze.  Off to your right is the wreck of the Desdemona.  She was a real Venetian beauty in her day, but alas, she was flattened with a splat in the Big Storm.  Because of her resplendent exquisiteness, Desdemona is now a haven for travelers passing through or those getting away for the weekend.  Package deals are available from Flatfish Tour Company, including a 15% discount if booked after our sea cruise.

clown fish are always good for a laugh

Get your tails and fins in high gear as we will soar up to the 25 foot depth to view Bubba’s Coral Reef.  Crustaceans abound and the Angel Fish float so delicately.  The Clown Fish are always good for a laugh.  However, this area is our most dangerous as the trollers are above.  Keep a sharp-edged look-out for dangling, tempting lures. 

As we rise you will notice that Bubba’s offers some of the best photo-ops, with the perfect amount of top-lighting filtering through the crystal clear waters.  So make sure to have your cameras ready and set on an action mode since we will be gliding past the coral formations.  Just in case you left your camera, there is a photo booth set up at the far end of the reef.  Cassie will take, process and have your pictures available to pick up at the end of the tour.

We have reached the thrill-seeker’s part of our excursion known as Paulina Plunge.  The big drop is the quickest way back to the Tour Company, but it is not for the faint of heart.  Should you choose not to “Plunge” there is an elevator located next to the photo booth.

are you lily-livered?

Here’s how it works:  From the platform you give a quick little jump up and pelican-dive down the 150 feet to the briny, sea floor.  Please remember to pull up about five feet from the bottom for faultless docking.  All those plunging line up at the base of the platform; the rest of you lily-livered suckers head off to the elevator.

Ready?  On the count of three … one, two, three … go.  Next in line, step up, please.  Brilliant plummet … simply invigorating!   One, two, three … go!  Whoa, whoa, pull up dude, pull up … ohhh, too late!  Hey man, did you splat in the sand?  You’ll be cleaning grit out of all your orifices for days.  Depth perception issues…didn’t see that coming.  Next…

Well, fishes and sea creatures thanks for skimming with Flatfish Tour Company this afternoon.  Remember to pick up any photos that you may have ordered, and to make your holiday reservations at The Wreck of Desdemona.  Halibut Jack here, bidding you a bon voyage … me too!

Happy skimming, road tripping, wherever your adventures take you...

Missy

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