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lonely has no boundaries


She came into the shop to purchase barbecue sauce, usually 3 to 4 bottles at a time. Her eyes were clear blue, and she had a ready smile that was mixed with quietness and melancholy.

I remember one particular day she came in with eyes red around the edges. I asked if everything was ok. She looked at me with her clear blue eyes and said, "Yes, but there are days you just need to cry." I agreed then, and I agree now.

Today is one of those melancholy days; not a need-to-cry day, but one that's on the side of sad and contemplative. So, it seems appropriate to share this post that's been sitting as a draft for weeks.

People are lonely, desperately crying to be noticed.

I've been lonely. I've had conversations with people who are lonely. The unfortunate thing is, it's not the outcast, recluse living in the hoarder house down the street. It's the chipper girl at the coffee shop who only wants another couple for her and her boyfriend to hang with. I think to myself, they're young, fun and should be surrounded by friends. After all, isn't it the elderly who are house bound with no family in the area that are lonely?


There's the young mom at the park, pushing her kiddos on the swing. She is watchfully aware of the other moms chatting on the far side of the playground. It's like she's in an area not traveled, not included or invited in.

What about the recent widow who is thrust into a life of making her own decisions. Sure, there's family and a handful of friends, but the nights are long and dark.

The boy who I always see playing among the rocks at the park, his only companion his trustworthy old dog. I often wonder about him and his well-being. The list could continue which is a very sad commentary.

Lonely has no boundaries.

Lonely periodically strikes everyone. For some it's a fleeting experience, while others exist in it as a constant lifestyle. Can't I have a different style, a different life?

You see, lonely is being without company which brings a certain sadness of destitution. And loneliness is different than being alone since it can happen even when surrounded by people. It's an inside feeling of being disconnected.

So, what are people actually looking for? It's really pretty simple: a place to belong, a place to connect with others.
Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for - Joseph Addison

All of these require belonging and connecting. People, people are desperate to be included and remembered; to be seen even in a  a crowded room. Do you, do I have eyes to see?

Look past the ready smile and into the clear blue eyes as you ring up the barbecue sauce. It might be a need-to-cry day.

Missy



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