Defining moments

Reflecting and allowing my soul to quiet

I’ve been living the surreal…and it’s a disorienting place.

Decisions we make set a course – choosing schools, picking who we hang with, jobs, marriages, blah, blah, blah. Even small picks like what we eat and our sleep habits affect us to varying degrees. Then, out-of-the-blue, you are smacked with the big stuff – those defining moments that wallop a punch; throwing you into that surrealistic state of not wanting to believe it’s true, that you will wake from the bewildering dream that is reality. Fortunately, these moments are not the everyday.

This past weekend my family encountered a defining moment – my brother was missing. The details are not the important part of the experience; the responses are. We had a desperate need which required ultimate trust.

The week prior I’d been reading about determined faith – it’s intense. Now, I needed to live that determination. My conviction was being pressed; what was coming out? Trust, doubt, fear and belief; my cocktail was shaken with a dash of bitters and more than a spritz of anxiety.

I’m overwhelmed and humbled by the behavior of my family. We prayed with conviction, planned – tapping into each person’s expertise and took action, all while the terror of our hearts screamed. We came together, united in a cause, driven by love. We were being pressed to breaking, but the shattered pieces were being reassured with the oil from the press.

All of these reactions were before we knew how the story would end; we couldn’t skip to the last page and remove the unknown. Life doesn’t allow us to do that and the news is packed with the not-so-happy-endings – fear again creeping up!

My niece’s post on Facebook said, “If you pray please do. If you don’t please pray anyway. Our family truly needs every prayer;” an expression of a desperate need in a desperate situation.

Now, 3 days out from the trauma (and happy ending!) I am still reeling in introspection, appreciating the significance of family. Last Thanksgiving one of my granddaughters prayed, “family together, together.” Yep, that’s what it’s all about.

Dear God, thank you for your great mercy during perceived fear. You traded the terror in my heart with ultimate dependence on Your goodness.

Still a bit disoriented, but living in real time…

Missy

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Wildlife Art by SylSeptember 24, 2014 at 3:02 PM
you have put into words all of our feelings..God was merciful and our strength ...still not altogether in real time, but much better...Love you...Mom
UnknownSeptember 24, 2014 at 5:23 PM
Being the cause of this weekend's events, I'm both heart broken that I caused so much fear, and heart warmed to know how much this family cares about each other. I never want to put any of the family or friends through anything like that again and I am taking away one important lesson...let people know how much you love and appreciate them.

As I was driving home on Sunday I was sickened at the thought that, had I in fact really been missing and/or dead, I would never have the opportunity to tell everyone how much they mean to me. So, my commitment is this: I don't want to let a day go by that I don't tell at least one of my family and friends how I feel about them. So for today, God Bless and thanks.
sewsavySeptember 25, 2014 at 3:01 PM
I am really glad there was a happy ending Missy. You had me holding my breath till the end of this story. I don't know what would happen if you were still waiting to hear. Keep holding my breath? Maybe? Those are real and raw emotions from a surreal experience. Glad all is well.

Isabella Bird Miscellany

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