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is it really?
Have you noticed how many advertisements, Facebook posts and magazine articles start out with all of the “musts” that we need to be happier, well fed and read, dressed or up-to-date?  As I was reading through some headlines last week, I noticed all of the imperatives; things that if I didn’t know about and implement into my ordinary life, well I’d be missing the proverbial boat.

Imperatives are known as bossy verbs, which is appropriate since they give us commands.  Commands and to-do’s are not bad in and of themselves.  In fact they are important and even necessary.  The ones I’m speaking to are the ones that purport themselves as urgent and unavoidable for our ultimate well-being as designed by someone else – the “they say” factor.

Do these sound familiar?

this is a must read!  gotta have this…
not to be missed!

Well what happens if I don’t read, get or...oops, miss?  I’m not blaming anyone.  I’ve used these phrases, so I’m as guilty as the next person of being bossy and trying to influence you with my obligatory desires for your life.  Wow!  Can you say control freak?

Peeps, here’s my dealio:  I have a brain that functions relatively well.  It thinks and reasons.  My brain figures things out, reads and learns.  It is capable, at least for the most part.  Consequently, shouldn’t I be able to decide for myself what is crucial and inescapable? 

Many imperatives put before us are not really that life changing or urgent.  It’s merely someone else’s opinion (they say factor) of what I must do, which stimulates a sense of dissatisfaction with my present state.  Suddenly there is an undercurrent of unrest.  I’m stirred into some frenzied action without knowing why.

Step off of the rat race wheel; take a look at a different angle on what’s spinning.  Is that bossy verb spouted by they-sayers really worth my time?  Often what we view as urgent blurs out what is actually important.  Urgent screams for attention, while important sits quietly, waiting to be noticed.

How do we know which is which?  I don’t have that answer.  It’s a question that I sift through all the time in my everydayness.  Sometimes I get it right, others not so much.  I do know that I’m working at trusting my instincts; listening less to they says.


If you have been mildly amused, challenged or inspired by what you have read, please pass on my blog to a friend, colleague, family member or even random acquaintance


  1. Well said..theysayers can most certainly detrack and unrail our minds keeping us from staying focused.

  2. I liked this. Those imperatives are truly spoilers of my favorite word, "contentment". That's the only imperative in my life. That I live it with contentment. If new and wonderful things bubble up and feel right, I'll be content with them too. Or without them. Something to look at. :)


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